


Rich Jerk

by waddiwasiwitch



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-01
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2019-02-26 12:20:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13235634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waddiwasiwitch/pseuds/waddiwasiwitch
Summary: A Royai Modern AU. Riza hates Christmas no matter how hard Rebecca tries her best to change her mind. When Riza thinks things can't get much worse, Roy crashes into her life.





	Rich Jerk

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for @ionica01 forTumblr @fullmetalsecretsanta Secret Santa. You may or may not recognise the Ugly Betty reference. (I’ve watched a lot of that lately).

Rich Jerk

Riza sat with her legs folded beneath her, head in a paperback romance novel and cup of cocoa in the other. It was her favourite comfort ritual and she needed it after the long week she had trying to get all her assignments done before the holiday break.

The front door opened and then slammed shut. Riza looked up and arched her eyebrow. Her room mate, Rebecca, had just walked into their apartment, her fists balled and her pink cheeks.

“Bastard!”

“What's wrong?”

“Some rich jerk just gazumped me at the store. He took the last Christmas tree - my Christmas tree.”

Riza’s lip twitched. “Looks like you weren't the only one who left it until the last minute.”

Rebecca glared at her and put her hand on her hips. “Just because you hate Christmas doesn't mean everyone else is a Grinch.”

Riza rolled her eyes and returned to her book. Rebecca swiped the book right out from Riza’s hands.

“C’mon lazy, help me Christmas-up this apartment. It’s the least you can do for me.”

“Becca, you know I don't like this time of year.”

Having never celebrated Christmas since she was a small girl when her mother was alive, Riza found it hard to get into the holiday spirit. It reminded her of the things she had lost, and the holidays was supposed to be about celebrating the things you had.

“When I moved in with you, I swore I would tap into your Christmas cheer.”

Riza put down her mug down on the floor. “Well - it didn't work last year.”

“I thought I would wear you down in the end. Ah c’mon Riza. It might even cheer you up.”

Riza stood up and sighed. It was time to be Becca’s Christmas elf.

“Fine - but only because it's you.”

Rebecca threw her arms around Riza. “Love you.”

“Where is everything?”

“There are boxes on my bed and there's another one in my car.” Rebecca threw the car keys at her. “Can you go get the one in the car? I'll make a start in here.”

“Careful - those almost hit me in the face.”

“Sorry,” Rebecca said.

Muttering curses under her breath, Riza left the apartment. She passed their neighbours Kain, Jean and Heymans, who were laden with bags of groceries.

“Happy holidays, Riza.” Kain had a small blush on his face.

“You too.” She smiled at the trio. “Hi guys, buy out the local supermarket?”

Heymans shrugged his shoulders. “Well we did almost clear out the alcohol.”

“And pizza and snacks,” Jean added.

“When was the last time you three had a proper meal?”

“Last night actually,” Heymans said. “I make a mean curry.”

Kain nodded. “He really does.”

“Thanks kiddo!” Heymans slapped Kain on the back, then turned to Riza. “Are you going to Gracia’s party?”

“Yeah - finally get to meet the famous Maes. He's on leave from the army.”

“Maes takes time to get used to.” Jean ran his fingers through his hair. “Oh, is Rebecca going to the party?”

Riza smiled knowingly. “She's the one dragging me along. I'm not usually one for Christmas parties.”

The man wasn't exactly subtle in his desire to win Rebecca, and her friend was equally as transparent, even if either of them would never admit.

Riza said goodbye to the boys, went down the stairs through the reception and out into the parking lot. She pressed the button on the keys as she reached Rebecca's car. She looked into the back and found the box in the back seat.

She was startled by the screeching sound of metal.

“Please don’t make that be my car.”

She pulled her head out from the back of the her friend’s car and looked over at her own car, which was parked two cars over from Rebecca’s. Her heart sank.

A man stumbled out of the driver seat a black Cadillac. He was too nicely dressed to be a student Perhaps he was a member of faculty? All she knew for definite is that he couldn’t park.

“Oh shit! Do you know who owns this car?”

“Yes - what the hell? How did you not see my car?”

“Oh I saw it.” He snorted. “It's bright yellow; I don't think I could have missed it.”

“That’s not funny.” She glared at him before going over to examine the damage. “So, how come up you hit it then?”

“You were parked over the line, and I misjudged the space.”

It seemed to be mainly paint transfer rather than damage. Stil, Riza had more than enough on her plate. The car was on its last legs as it was. She took a deep breath and turned around shaking her head.

“I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I'm not used to driving this car.”

“Please tell me you didn't steal it.”

He shook his head and laughed. “Don't worry. You can relax - my insurance will cover it.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pen and a train ticket. He scribbled on the back and handed it to her. “It's my aunt’s car. Mine is in the shop. She's going to kill me.”

“In the shop? Was the last car your damaged your own?”

His face flushed. “It’s just getting a service.”

She read the name. Roy Mustang.

His name is as obnoxious as he is.

“Look - I feel like an asshole. Let me treat you to dinner as an apology.”

“You crashed into me and now you want me to go on a date.”

Maybe the fact he’s handsome had gotten him out of jams before, but Riza had no intention of being charmed by him.

“Yeah -” His eyes widened. “I mean - no - not a date. Just an apology.”

“No thank you. I don't want to spend any more time than necessary with you.”

His face went pink. Riza ignored the tinge of guilt. She was sure it was his giant oversized ego that was bruised and he would be over it in five minutes. Handsome men like him always were.

“Let's just call the cops and get this over and done with,” she said taking out her phone.

“Riza?”

Riza’s head whipped around to see Rebecca had followed her outside.

“What’s taking so long?”

“I’ve been preoccupied,” Riza said grimly.

Rebecca frowned and followed Riza’s gaze. She noticed who was standing there, she grimaced. “You again!”

His eyebrows went up into his hairline. “Ah the harpy from earlier. As I told you then, I didn’t know you had reserved the damn tree, the clerk sold it to me.”

“At least, he didn’t scratch your car,” Riza muttered.

“You fucking jerk! You scratched her car!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’ve already apologised, I’ll pay for it, alright. Jeez, I’m glad you didn’t take me up on dinner.”

^^^^^^^

Riza and Rebecca locked arms as they got out of the taxi. They stumbled up the path to the door of the small town house. The two women were already a little merry after sharing a few glasses of wine prior to the party. Rebecca was celebrating and Riza was getting drunk because she needed to forget about her shit pile of a car. Roy had been telling the truth. She had no difficulty making the claim off his insurance, but it turned out her car needed a lot more work done than a paint job. Her engine was threatening to explode. It was in the shop for now, and Riza wasn’t sure how she was going to come up with the money.

“I really enjoyed you laying into that arrogant ass,” Rebecca said. “Did you see his face?”

“I feel a bit bad. Maybe I was a bit harsh?”

“No - he looked like a kicked puppy. Riza, it was perfect.” She wrapped her arms around her almost knocking both of them. “I was so fucking proud of you.”

Riza pulled away. “Now, I really feel better.”

“You should. He thinks he’s better than everyone else in his expensive suit driving his aunt’s car. Probably never worked a day in his pampered life. Rich jerk!”

“R.J. for short.”

“See - I knew you had it in you.”

Rebecca rang the doorbell and Gracia to answer the door attached to a bespectacled man with a big smile on his face.

“I guess you’re the famous Maes,” Rebecca pushed past Riza to shake his hand. “I can see why Gracia keeps you all to herself.”

Riza rolled her eyes.

“Maes,” Gracia said, “this is Rebecca and the more polite one is Riza.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you both.” He took Riza’s hand and shook it. “ Come in, come in - let’s get you a glass of wine. Red or white?”

“White, please,” Riza said.

“Red, thanks.

Maes closed the door behind them.

“Hey Riza! Rebecca!”

It was the boys from don the hall and Rebecca made a beeline for them, her eyes on Jean. Riza laughed softly and waved.

“You’re just as pretty as she told me,” Maes whispered in her ear as he led her to the drinks’ table. “He’ll be delighted.”

Riza arched an eyebrow. “Tell me you’re not trying to set me up again, Gracia.”

Gracia lightly boxed Maes on the arm. “Thanks for letting the cat out of the bag. But Riza, you’ll like him, I swear.”

Maes handed her a glass. “It’s Christmas, Riza, humour us. It’s a time for magic.”

She had given up telling people she hated Christmas. Maybe it was the alcohol, or perhaps she had finally given in.

“Alright - this once. But tell me one thing. Why am I always the one you’re trying to set up?”

“Because it’s clear who Rebecca has the hots for. And I’ve given up trying to help that along.”

“I don’t think you need to help it on anymore.” Riza gestured towards the corner where Rebecca and Jean were kissing under the mistletoe. “Mistletoe and a few glasses of wine seem to have done the trick.”

The doorbell rang again.

Maes smiled apologetically. “Excuse me.”

Riza turned to Gracia. “He seems just as nice as you say.”

“I’m a lucky woman.” Gracia looked over Riza’s shoulders. “Ah they’re coming. Wait until you meet his best friend.”

Riza turned around slowly and came face to face with R.J.

They spoke at the same time. “You!”

His hair was slicked back. It suited him, she thought. His blue shirt set off his eyes nicely too. Realising she was staring, she tore her gaze away. It would never do if he thought she was admiring him.

Maes clapped his hands to his forehead. “Please don’t tell me this is the poor girl whose car you wrote off.”

“I didn’t write off her car. It was just a scratch.”

Maes grabbed Gracia by the arm. “Oh Gracia - I have to show you something.”

“Yes - that thing.”

Gracia and Maes dashed off tio the other side of the room leaving Roy and Riza alone.

“Well this is awkward.” He dipped his head. “Sorry again about your car. Did you get it sorted?”

Riza shrugged. “It’s pretty written off.”

Roy’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

“It’s okay. I’m just teasing... Sort of. The engine’s in pretty bad shape and I’m trying to decide if it’s worth fixing up. The paint job wasn’t a problem. It’s everything else.”

He shook his head. “I was right - you keep a man on his toes.”

“And you’re an arrogant-”

“Rich jerk?” he finished.

She could feel the blood leaving her face. “Uh-”

“You don’t have to stay here and talk to me if you don’t want to. Ever since Maes and Gracia got engaged, they’re determined to find me a girlfriend.”

It would be rude to leave and at this stage, both of them had insulted one another, it couldn’t get any worse, right?

Deciding to be polite, she asked, “How do you know Maes?”

He looked up, a look of mild surprise on his face. She wondered if it was the question, or the fact that she was still there.

“We met in the military. We were both cadets together, the bastard stole the last quiche from right under my nose.”

“You’re a soldier.”

Riza winced at the incredulity in her voice, but it was too late. At least, Roy seemed amused if the smirk on his face was anything to go by.

“So what, did you think I was some spoilt rich kid or something? Never did a day’s work in his life.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

She frowned. It was like he could read her mind.

“Don’t worry about it.”

He pointed at the mantelpiece over the fire where there was a photo of the pair in their uniforms. Riza went over and picked it up to examine it. Roy followed her.

They both looked handsome, she thought. She replaced the photo on the mantelpiece..

“So, you’re saying you were never spoilt. I find that hard to believe.”

“Oh - I never said that. I was raised by my aunt. She’s a no-nonsense sort, but she’s a teddy bear underneath it. As much as she tried not to spoil me, I was surrounded by the girls from her bar and they doted on me.”

“A bar? That must have been ... interesting.”

“I've probably seen things a kid shouldn’t see. Certainly heard a lot. Learned all I need to know about women there.”

“If you’re some sort of expert, then why don’t you have a girlfriend.”

His lips twitched upward. “It’s completely by choice.”

She’s wasn’t sure when the teasing had turned into flirting, or maybe they had been flirting all along. She swallowed the remains of the wine in her glass.

“Oh - I’m sure it has nothing to do with you acting like a jerk.”

A shit-eating grin on his face, he leaned in towards her. “Hmm - and what about you, Riza?”

Damn, that cologne. It smelled so good.

“Same, but not for the want of men knocking down my door.”

“Is that so? Then I’m a lucky man”

He pointed upwards. Her eyes drifted to the sprig of mistletoe on the ceiling.

She rolled her eyes before pressing her lips chastly to his. She was a little disappointed when he didn’t deepen the kiss. Still he didn’t pull away and he was looked at her like she was a puzzle he couldn’t figure out.

His breath tickled her ear. “I guess you haven’t found your Prince Charming yet.”

She looked him right in the eye. “I guess not.”

Her eyes went to his lips again. She wanted to kiss him again. Properly this time.

“If you want, you can try again,” he suggested.

Her eyes widened a fraction before she composed herself.

“Or maybe you should try kissing me?”

His lips were on hers before she could say anything else. She closed her eyes and deepened the kiss. She pulled him closer, and his hands went to her waist. Okay, she wasn’t misreading the signal. His lips and tongue were like fire sending warmth through her body. If she wasn’t wearing heels, she was sure her toes would be curling. Gasping for breath, they pulled apart. They looked sheepishly at one another and laughed.

“That was -” He began before he trailed off.

“NIce,” she suggested.

“Wasn’t what I was going to say, but it’ll do.”

“I think we started out on the wrong footing,” Riza said. “Why don’t we start again?”

“I’d like that, but there’s one thing I need to tell you first.”

“Oh?”

“I didn’t mean to, but I -uh- heard you talking with your friend out front.”

Her hands went to her mouth. “R.J?”

“Yeah - I got that part.” He waved his hand. “Anyway never mind because we’ve never met one another before.”

She smiled and held out her hand. “H I’m Riza.”

“Riza, it’s my pleasure.” He took her hand and shook it. “I’m Roy Mustang, a terrible flirt but a brave soldier. Will you do me the honour of listening to me prattle on for the night and I’ll do the same for you.”

“Only if you get me another glass of wine. I’m parched.”

Fin

 

Hope you liked it


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